Do I have worth? This is a question I ask myself every time the hub and the bub subsides in our homeschool life. Without the daily caring for my children and husband and teaching and planning for new lessons, do I have worth? Am I intrinsically worthy? That I question. I grew up thinking that worth was defined by my achievements in life. The success of my career, the level of education I attained. And then I radically transformed myself into a stay-at-home homeschooling mom whose goals were teaching my kids and being as thrifty as possible, and trying to build some home-based revenue streamsRead More →

Where is your future? When I was young, the answer to that question was, “…as a career woman. A professor unearthing the mysteries of biology and physics.” And then I had children. From the first moment I looked my children in the eyes, my future changed. At first I did not realize it. All I knew was that I loved them. And then it happened. They started to learn. This is the single most stupendous feature of humanity in my mind. I fed them new experiences, new toys, new books, and my children learned and learned and learned. The more I gave them, the moreRead More →

Mom is a word that is for me happy and sad at the same time. Mom is not necessarily your birth mom – she can be an adoptive mom or a mom-in-law and in some cases that is really best. I am blessed with a wonderful Mom-in-Law and beautiful children for me to ‘Mom’. The happy part of Mom is my role in the world that irreversibly shifted when my children were born. I became Mom and that will never change. As Mom, I strive each day to fill a set of my own mom-requirements: Mom is a cornerstone of a family. Mom is theRead More →

Should is one of those words I grew up hearing often. “You should take out the trash” “You should practice” “You should do all your homework” …and on and on… As I grew older I took on the role of a co-promoter of “Shoulds”. I “shoulded” my friends. I “shoulded” my students. I “shoulded” the world in general. And then I met my husband (well, obviously he wasn’t my husband yet) and BAM! I hit a “should” wall. I think it was my first “should” with him that met that wall. I said something on the order of “you should take your fins off inRead More →

Enough Have you ever had enough? I ask myself many times each day, “is this enough? Am I doing enough to help my husband? He goes to work evey day and works as hard as he can to provide for the kids and I. Do I do enough to support him? Am I teaching my kids enough? Is it enough for them to lead the adult lives they wish for? Do I show my love enough to my husband? Do I let my trivial problems get in the way? Am I kind enough to friends? Do I keep up with their lives enough or doRead More →

Why do we as humans seek to define? In my younger days as a scientist, my whole being was focused on defining. I think it began when I was barely 9 and decided to catalog all the marine mammals. Those were the days before computers and Internet, so I set about with 3 by 5 cards and a metal box. The box, I covered with stickers, as any self-respecting 9 year old girl will do. And the cards, those I filled with my own brand of marine mammal classification system. I began with all the animals I knew of, from my frequent trips to MarineRead More →

Abandon. This word causes my mind to drift immediately to Joy and Freedom… and then to my children. Before we entered the ‘time of troubles’ – the time that left them both defeated and afraid and traumatized and is the big reason for our lifestyle today, my children lived every waking moment in a state of joyful abandon. They were constantly engaged in lengthy discussions and plans and general twin-chats from the time they woke early in the morning until they fell asleep at night. They live in that state of abandon in my memories. Racing through the kitchen on roller skates or in theRead More →

Purpose is a word that is hard for me to spell and often comes out Porpoise on my keyboard. The reason, I am not certain. Except that I have always loved the ocean and all its creatures. When I was a child, long before the Internet, I would collect every scrap of newspaper article or magazine which contained a bit of information about an ocean creature. I then began collecting the information into 3 by 5 cards which led to a full blown catalog of newly discovered marine species. I thought for sure and certain that this was my calling. My family were convinced IRead More →