‘X is for Unknown’ is Week 24 of Blogging Through the Alphabet
26 Keys to My Happy Marriage
The letter X means so many things. It marks the spot. It is a sacred symbol, combined with a ‘p’ for Christ. In math, X, means unknown. And I think that all three of these meanings are related and combine when I think of marriage.
X is a marvelous letter and is much like any marriage – filled with unknowns. How happy will we be? Will we experience great sadness? Will we come together to overcome great hardship? Will our family thrive?
We Begin Marriage Filled with Unknowns
On our wedding day, none of us had an idea of where our lives were headed. All we knew was that we loved that other person and that he loved us too. We were giddy with the reciprocated statements of faithfulness and care. For some of us, ’till death do us part’ was replaced by ‘for all eternity’, which frankly makes the giddiness of the moment even giddier.
But in reality we entered into a binding contract, promising to love and keep and honor through all imaginable manner of hardship with absolutely no idea of what lay ahead. For us at the moment our husbands-to-be slipped the ring on our finger, we were entering into an unknown world.
The unknown of it all is perhaps why so many brides are nervous before the wedding and why so many grooms are late to their weddings. Pledging ‘forever’ in front of family and God, in a covenant not meant to be broken, with the prospect of an unknown future ahead really is a huge leap of faith.
We Know We Can Face Unknowns Together
In spite of the unknown, we have faith at that moment that our husband will love us forever. We believe with our whole selves that our marriage will see us through times of trouble in that unknown future. We have changed from “I” to “We” in that moment. There are now two of us to face that unknown future. Two of us to share the joys and the heartbreaks ahead. We know at that moment of marriage that we will survive because we are together. That is why marriage is such a giddifying experience.
Together we will conquer the unknown.
But will we?
Sometimes We Can Forget During The Middle Years
Many people do not live out their covenant of marriage. They stray or they discover irreconcilable differences. Or perhaps they do not remember the nature of the covenant they made treat their husband and their marriage with the same honor and respect they felt on their wedding day. It is easy to forget as the years slip by and the heap of troubles grow. When we are young, the thought of challenges conjures up visions of flat tires and impossibly hard final exams and the odd recurrent pimple. But after decades of marriage and children who are nearly grown, the word challenges takes on a much deeper hardships like dealing with the death of parents, job loss with children to support, societal unrest, and injury or sickness.
These are much, much bigger challenges. They are unknowns that are so far from the minds of the young newlyweds that thankfully they cannot dampen the giddiness of marriage. But they do threaten to dampen the ides of our marriage. The middle years.
But Our Marriage Must See Us Through the Unknowns
These unknowns can make us forget. And we should never forget the reason we chose to enter into that holy agreement with our husband. Fundamentally, we love him. We honor and protect him, as he does us. And if we work together with him to conquer the unknowns through life, we will continue to be happy together as long as we both shall live, and perhaps a bit longer.
How have unknowns figured in your marriage? (and did the thought of them give you the urge to jump the back fence and run for the hills, dress and all, on your wedding day – or is that just me?)