‘Hoarse’ is Week 8 of Blogging Through the Alphabet
26 Keys to My Happy Marriage.
Hoarse is not directly a key to a happy marriage. In fact, Hoarse is the opposite. If you find yourself Hoarse there is a problem (unless you were cheering for you kids at a baseball game).
Hoarse is not actually a state you should strive for in your marriage.
For me, hoarse is a state that means I have spent entirely too much time talking and not enough listening. It is really hard not to talk too much to your husband when he comes home from work.
You have just spent a good 9 or ten hours alone with your children, talking and cajoling and watching them move their way through new experiences and ideas. They are not really the same little people that your husband said goodnight to last night. By the time he gets home from work, there is so much that has changed.
And somehow you wish to share all those moments you were witness to in the last few hours at home with your kids.
Of course there is no way you can do this.
You can only share the highlights.
A long list of achievements and cute moments, even if accompanied by pictures, is not something he can relate to. Even if he wants to share all those moments and achievements, he cannot possibly. Not unless he was there with you all. And he wasn’t.
He was at work, dealing with work politics, unrelenting customers and bosses who don’t care for him or want him to be happy. When he goes to work he enters a battlefield of sorts.
You are home with your children, in the warm loving place you and your husband created together. Your job is to teach your children and keep the home a happy place in spite of the chaos that comes from homeschooling.
But your first job is to your children, your husband, and God (perhaps not in that order!)
And so avoiding Hoarse is in fact a kindness you show to your husband. A way of making the home a loving place for him to return to.
Avoiding Hoarse is important to your children because it makes the transition time when your husband returns into a happy highlight of the day, instead of a long mommy-talk that dominates the space.
For me, avoiding hoarse is one of the most important parts of our happy marriage.